Marriage is an ultimate act of love, a union where two souls become one. But as we know from walking with many, marriage is also a battlefield. It’s a place where love and war often coexist, testing the resilience, commitment, and depth of two individuals bound together by vows of eternal devotion.
Today I wanted to share a book about Gods Union of marriage: Love and War.
It is written by John and Stasi Eldredge, Love and War and captures the spiritual beauty, difficulties, and how to overcome them.
The Eldredges don’t leave the hard truths untouched, as usual in their books. They acknowledge the challenges, the fights, and the moments of doubt that every marriage faces. Yet, they also illuminate the beauty, the growth, and the profound connection that can arise from navigating these storms together.
At the heart of Love and War is the idea that marriage is a journey of two flawed individuals striving to become better together. John and Stasi draw from their own experiences, sharing vulnerably about their struggles and triumphs. They remind us that love is not a fairy tale but a relentless pursuit, a choice made daily to stand by each other’s side, even when the going gets tough.
The Eldredges frame marriage as a spiritual battleground where our deepest fears, insecurities, and wounds come to the surface. It’s in these moments of conflict and vulnerability that true growth occurs. They argue that the very struggles we face in marriage are opportunities for healing and transformation. It’s through facing our own brokenness and the brokenness of our partner that we can truly understand and embody the love God intends for us.
I’ve included 3 excerpts from the book, that are beautiful and true of Godly marriages. These quotes both free me to know that my marriage doesn’t need to be perfect and give me hope for the future of my own marriage in the difficult moments.
1. On the Reality of Marriage:
“We all come into marriage with a set of expectations. We imagine our life together filled with shared dreams, peaceful harmony, and unwavering support. But the reality often involves conflicts, misunderstandings, and struggles that test our commitment and love. The beauty of marriage lies in navigating these rough waters together, learning to love and grow through each trial.”
2. On Embracing the Battle:
“Marriage is hard because it brings out the worst in us, exposing our deepest wounds and insecurities. But it’s in this battlefield that God does His greatest work. By facing our brokenness and choosing to love despite the challenges, we allow God to transform us and our relationship into something far more beautiful and resilient than we ever imagined.”
3. On the Power of Forgiveness:
“Forgiveness is at the heart of a lasting marriage. It’s not a one-time act but a continual process of letting go of hurt and resentment. When we choose to forgive, we mirror God’s grace and open the door for healing and restoration. Forgiveness doesn’t erase the past, but it does set us free to move forward together, stronger and more united.”
As we journey through our own marriages, may we hold onto the truth that love, even when it feels like war, is the greatest adventure of all. And in those moments of conflict, may we find the courage to choose love, to fight for each other, and to grow together in ways we never imagined possible.
Remember 1 Corinthians 13, the love verses. For the marriages, husbands, wives, reading this, stay strong. Cling to Jesus.