As parents, we often wonder how we can show up in our children’s lives in meaningful and lasting ways. For this post we didn’t want to focus on a to do list, but insteade a checking of our heart to see if these behaviors are present in our parenting relationships or not. If we don’t exhibit all of these or even a few, it is most likely a good time to ask for God to speak into our heart as a parent, and invite a rekindling of the love and care for my children. Raising children is a responsibility filled with moments of joy, challenge, and growth. So, without further denouement, here are five “being” activities we can look to as parents to serve as a heart check, each reflecting both love and wisdom. These being statements go beyond traditional duties and dive deeper into our emotional availability, self-awareness, and lifelong commitment to our children.
1. Available
Being available is one of the most critical roles we can play in our children’s lives. This doesn’t just mean physically being around—it means being emotionally present, willing to listen, and attentive to their needs and feelings. When children sense our presence, they feel secure and valued.
It’s not about perfection but consistency. Whether it’s showing up to their events, listening to their small daily victories and struggles, or spending quality time together, availability creates trust that says, “I’m here for you, no matter what.”
2. Okay With Our Story and Failures
One of the most liberating things we can offer our children is vulnerability. As parents, many of us feel the pressure to have all the answers or to appear infallible, but there’s profound value in being open about our own story—failures and all. Sharing with our children that we’ve made mistakes, faced struggles, and grown from them humanizes us and helps them understand that perfection is not required to be loved or successful.
When we model self-compassion and honesty about our shortcomings, we teach our children resilience and the power of growth through failure. They learn that it’s okay to struggle, and that struggles don’t define their worth. By embracing our own story, we give them permission to embrace theirs.
3. Happy with Their Being in Our Lives, Even in Uncomfortable Moments
Parenting isn’t always easy, and there are plenty of uncomfortable or challenging moments that test our patience and resolve. However, one of the most transformative things we can do is to choose joy in the fact that our children are in our lives, even during difficult times. This requires us to be “present” in situations that are frustrating or difficult, maintaining a deep gratitude for the privilege of being their parent.
This doesn’t mean pretending everything is perfect, but rather recognizing that their presence is a blessing, regardless of the challenges. This attitude helps them know that they are unconditionally loved and valued, and in turn, strengthens their confidence and security in the family dynamic.
4. Forgiving
Forgiveness is less about the other person and more about the condition of our own heart. In the context of parenting, forgiveness towards our children is a powerful act that fosters healing, grace, and growth. Children will make mistakes, just as we did, but how we respond to those mistakes can either open the door to healing or deepen feelings of shame.
When we choose to forgive—quickly and genuinely—we create an environment where they can learn from their missteps without being defined by them. Forgiveness is an ongoing act that says, “I love you for who you are, not just for what you do or don’t do.” It’s a reflection of our commitment to maintaining a healthy relationship, even in the face of disappointment.
5. Loyal
Loyalty to our children is about unwavering love and support, even when it’s complicated by the dynamics of multiple children or conflicts they may face with peers. Loyalty doesn’t mean we agree with everything they do, but it means we are a constant source of support and love that they can always rely on.
This loyalty becomes especially important when life’s hardships come their way. Knowing that we are steadfastly on their side, no matter what, gives them a foundation of security and trust. It’s a form of loyalty that says, “I may not always agree with you, but I will never stop loving you, and I will always be here for you.”
Parenting is a journey that requires us to be available, vulnerable, joyful in their presence, forgiving, and loyal. These five roles are not about perfection but about consistent love, commitment, and presence. As we embrace these roles, we not only nurture our children’s growth but also our own.
Discussion questions
How can being emotionally available to my child in their early years influence their ability to form relationships later in life?
Why is sharing our failures with our children so important for fostering resilience and self-compassion in them?
How can we practice forgiveness in parenting when we feel deeply hurt or disappointed by our child’s actions?